Humbled

                    

The textbook definition of the word humbled says to decisively defeat or lower someone in dignity or importance. 

Looking back I can actually remember the first time I was truly humbled.  You see there are many times as a child that we are humbled (but we don’t even realize it’s happening).  Our adolescent minds are able to forget and make new memories -it’s a beautiful thing- child like faith as some call it.  The first time I was truly humbled I was 15 years old, I grew up around cars my entire life and I wanted nothing less than to get my license and be able to drive my self anywhere I chose. I had my mind made up that I would have zero issues passing my drivers test, I mean, I had driven around in many different vehicles at a very young age.  My family and I are in the car business and I would help move and shuffle the trucks on the car lot around.  I really thought I was hot stuff. 

My birthday is in late march, great weather and perfect for a 16 year old with a fresh printed license.  The night before my 16th birthday I asked my mom (she was always my go to if I wanted to bend the rules) if I could skip school just long enough to go take my drivers test and then I would go to school after.  She agreed and so we went the next day to get my license.  I had no doubt in my mind I would pass. So, I take the drivers test, and to my dismay; I failed. Not just a little bit, but miserably. As I recall, I made a left hand turn improperly and was asked to return to the DMV and was told that I had failed.  I was so furious.  I was mad at the driving instructor, mad at anyone I thought had made this difficult for me.  We got back to the DMV and I break the news to my mom and we left.  We had went to the car lot right after and I had to tell my dad that I didn’t pass.  He actually thought it was funny and told me I shouldn’t have been so sure that I would pass it.  Of course, that made me even more angry and I was fuming at that point.  I had to go finish my day at school as promised to my mom.  So, instead of driving my truck that was already shined and polished all by my self, I had to ride, yet again, with mom and get dropped off (how humiliating).  I think I had bragged about getting my license to friends at school the day before and, at that point, I had no idea how I was going to handle being asked why I didn’t drive. I went through the day and slowly became less angry and started to realize that maybe it wasn’t someone elses fault, but possibly my own that I hadn’t passed my test.  I decided I wasn’t going to fail again and I began reading my booklet I had been given to study for the drivers test.  You see, I hadn’t studied any at all, when I took the permit test.  I passed with flying colors and didn’t have to study, so I thought I had it all figured out on my own.  I studied that handbook the entire day, into the night, and even the next morning.  I prayed and realized I had been humbled.  Although it took some time to admit it to myself, I took the test the next day and passed.  I drove myself to school just like I had dreamed, and everything was just as I hoped it would be, just a day late.  To this day, I can say that is the biggest slice of humble pie I have ever had to swallow. When I realized I needed to study, I passed.  

How often do we forget to study?  How often do we decide it’s not important?  “I have better things to do” “I’ve got it handled”.  We decide how things are going to be, how our futures will look.  We paint these images in our head of what we want, but what happens when that plan we have doesn’t unfold the way we had it pictured?  Finances take a left turn.  The person you just knew you were going to marry leaves.  What happens then?  Where do we turn?  Most of the time, we get angry, blame other people for what happened, and stay in the same place for the rest of our lives.  But what if we studied?  What if being humbled is just Gods way of throwing that handbook in our face and saying, “here, eat this slice of humble pie because I promise you, you do not have it figured out”.  What if when that happens, we dig into the word?  We surround out selves with God, and truly dig deep for the answer that he has for us?  I think the more we do that, the less we have to be humbled because we’re studying.  We’re keeping that humble spirit alive inside of us and moving forward with God, not on our own time. My humbling experience didn’t stop at 16 years old, it still happens to me, more than I would like to admit.  But I leave my pride laying on the ground and grab my handbook that God designed and I get to studying.  That doesn’t mean we have to get so deep in our bibles every time something bad happens, or that we should shutout the world because we have to read the Bible 24/7.  We’re all different, some may get more from a spoken word, some get more reading it them selves.  We’re all different, and we all make mistakes, but the beauty of God is that he forgives.  He lets us move forward and gives us the desires of our hearts.  He is truly a loving God.  Most of the time we think that if we messed up, we don’t deserve what we wanted in the first place.  We tried it on our own, failed, and now we have to start over and we’re not worthy of even half of what we thought we would achieve.  God doesn’t work that way.  He wants us to succeed.  He wants us to have the desires of our hearts, just on his time, and in his own special way.  I failed that test, but I still got the desire of my heart.  I still got my license.  I still got to proudly drive that shiny Silverado to school.  I didn’t have to start all over again, but if I would have had the same mindset, and not studied, I may have just had to start all over after all. God gave me my hearts desire, it was just on his time and in his way, I just had to study a little bit. 

-Cody